How To Tell If You Spend Too Much Time Surfing The Internet

1. Tech Support calls "YOU" for help.

2. Someone at work tells you a joke and you say "LOL" out loud.

3. You find yourself trying to cock your head 90 degrees when you smile.

4. You no longer type with proper capitalization, punctuation, or complete sentences.

5. You keep begging your friends to get an account so "we can hang out".

6. Three words: Carpal Tunnel Syndrome.

7. You have to get a 2nd phone line just so you can call Pizza Hut.

8. When looking at signs, you wonder why they are always "yelling" at you.

9. You watch TV with the closed captioning turned on.

10. Your spouse now complains of you moving your fingers in your sleep instead of talking.

11. Your kids are eating cereal morning, noon, and night.

12. When someone says, "What did you say?" you reply, "Scroll up!"

13. You find yourself sneaking away to the computer in the middle of the night when your spouse is asleep.

14. You turn down the lights & close the blinds so people won't know you're on-line again.

15. You know more about your AOL friends' daily routines than you do your own spouse's.

16. You find yourself lying to others about your time on-line & when they complain that your phone was busy you claim it was off the hook.

17. You have an identity crisis if someone is using a screen name close to your own.

18. You would rather tell people that your bloodshot eyes are from partying too much than the truth (online all night).

19. You change your screen names so much that you have to look at your own profile to see who you are.

20. You go into labor and you stop to type a special E-mail to let everyone know you're going to be away and how you're feeling.

21. You have a map on the wall w/ LOTS of red thumbtacks to mark where people are you have met.

22. You look at an annoying person off-line & wish you had your ignore button handy.

23. You bring a bag lunch & a cooler to the computer.

24. You get up at 2 am to go to the bathroom but turn on the computer instead.

25. You don't even notice anymore when someone has a typo.

26. You stop typing whole words and use things like ppl, dunno and lemme.

27. Your voicemail/answering machine message is "BRB, leave your s/n & I will TTYL".

28. You type faster than you think.

29. You can actually read & follow all the names of the cast that scrolls up your TV screen at the end of a movie.

30. People say, "If it weren't for your super reflexes in your eyes & fingers, you would have been classified as a vegetable!"

31. You double click your TV remote.

32. You can now type over 70 wpm.

33. You have a vanity car tag with your screen name on it.